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| FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn...we fucked up...but that shit was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Say wipe your face and shut the fuck up.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' ass that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say
"Bitch, you better drink the rest of that-you know we don't waste."
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out
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| So... I know it has been a while...but i have been busy! These last few weeks have been fun! Here are some new ones for yall... i will been more frequent with them for now on, though. Much Love! Hailey!      
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| So... there are some new pics... but you have to click on one of the older pics to see the new ones. Things are great over here... Much love to all who read this!.... Love Hailey, Zach, Maddie, Ronnie, Lisa, and Faithe! | | |
| Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with
her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get
in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to
her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton:
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban
both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video
surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed
below:
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares...and watched what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's
on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!"
And last, but not least...
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here !! | | |
| How to babyproof:
• Throw away the pennies. Just throw them away.
• Try to decide what to do with the prescription painkillers. Take a few yourself to see if they still work (they do!), then store the rest in the glove compartment of your car.
• What are those things anyway? The ones under the sink? They look dangerous, but you don't even recognize them. Oh! They seem to be "cleaning products"! Get rid of them.
• Use duct tape to attach bubble wrap to bathtub faucet, coffee-table edges, tile floor, and dog's teeth.
• Use duct tape to attach bubble wrap to baby. | | |
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